Being alone has kept me busier than I ever imagined it would. Partially that is because I have a number of things to do which are finite or time limited which need to be finished soon. Add to this all the work I need to do on the house just to make it my own space, general upkeep and trying to have some sort of social life it all adds up to being very busy.
I call the kids everyday, I don’t always get to talk to them but I call anyway to tell them I love them and that I miss them. Lily got a new fish and a turtle. I wonder if they have started to forget what I look like. I know that they will have changes so much by the next time I see them. Christmas seems so far away and yet I have never looked forward to that holiday more than I do now.
Work has been busy and I am getting to the point where much of the conflictI was having with a co worker has been resolved, not by anything I did. It wasn’t really about me in the first place even though I kept finding myself caught up in and reacting to all the BS. This is just not a good time at work to have negative press coming your way, when the entire program may be eliminated due to the financial crisis the county I work for is experiencing.
I am getting more comfortable being alone. I have mixed feelings about it. I think it is good for me to be alone more, I need to learn how to be alone before I can really be with someone again. I tell myself this alot and wonder if it is realy true, i don’t know. On the other hand I still have feelings for someone and I miss her. We have spent some time together recently and it has been nice. Everthing is different now than it was before but I still feel the same way. I am learning to be patient to want and not have is an interesting place to reside.
On the TV front I finally have TV again. In the mean time I started watching The Wire on DVD and it is a great show. I am hooked. Off to work.
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