I can honestly say that my ex is now just starting to express how angry she is at me for seeking a divorce. It is obvious in so much as she has not spoken a word to me since she moved out of state. Noe though when I pushed her on something that was a reasonable request, an accommodation really, that I sought from her she took it as an opportunity to say no and to tell me in so many words how selfish I had been over the course of the summer and how much pain I have caused the kids. All true to one degree or another. A page and a half detailing specific past transgressions. Which I understand. She is angry at me and this is not what she wanted. In an attempt to appeal to the idea that making the kids stay in NY to finish the last two days of school and then fly back fly back to Seattle on Christmas Eve was probably not in the kids best interest, I earned some sort of written tongue lashing. It is too bad that things were not better between us but they weren’t. I needed to make a change for my own sense of self and my health. Now when I ask her to consider deviating from our written parenting plan I am accused of selfishness and looking out for my own self interests. To be sure I would rather fly to NYC on the Friday before Christmas and return the next day. Much easier for me but really this is about not making the kids fly across country on Christmas eve when they could already be back two days earlier. even one day would be better than the day of.
What can I do? What do you say? Wait try and be patient continue to appeal to the notion that this kind of response is ultimately not good for the kids. The divorce has happened. I made the most generous sacrifice I could make. I let them move out of state, that was not some sovereign right you had to take them. Not to appease you but that I thought in the end it would be best for the kids if you were as happy as you possibly could be. I can deal with the issues in a more positive way, I never anticipated that you would or could. And you are proving me right.
I know the pain you feel. My wife left with our children, left the country. Even when I can see the children, she does everything to make sure that I do not see them. It is a hopeless cause. I know that she is driving a wedge between me and our children, but there is nothing that I could do. Who do you turn to? Who can really understand the pain you feel? I miss them too.