After a week of ruminating over the kids, my decisions on personal matters and generally not getting much done I have finally unstuck myself. After getting some good feedback from a number of friends I trust I can’t help but be thankful for the people I have relied on over the past 6 months. Not long ago I was asked by someone what do I think I should do when it comes to matters of the heart and at the time I couldn’t really answer the question. Maybe I just process things slowly or maybe I just didn’t really know. Or maybe I had just kind of lost my way. Whatever the case I feel as though following your heart is the best choice. This has been a difficult year and it would be easy to see everything from some sort of negative or whoa is me point of view but that would just be setting myself up for creating some story about how I decided to get divorced and nothing good has come out of it. I lost the kids, relationships didn’t work out the way I wanted and that in general relationships are things to be avoided. The reality is I still get to chose I view my experiences and I can continue to create my own life in so much as I do not need to be a passive participant in the whole process.
This week was full of conflict via e-Maill between my ex and I. She refuses to speak to me over the phone so all contact is via e-mail. After shutting me down on picking up the kids 2 days early over the Christmas break I finally did what I should have done from the beginning and looked up the kid’s school schedule for the year. I have the kids more that I though over spring break and the parenting plan is written in such a way as there is a conflict in when I can have the kids over the Summer. When I pointed this out to my ex she of course believed that decision should be in her favor despite there being conflicting allotments of time. Mediation here we come. It is sad that we can’t just negotiate these simple things so that we can both have some flexibility to the agreement. But that seems unlikely to happen so if at all. Too bad.
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