It takes me a long time to acdept reality. Two years and I still struggle with it. I feel as though I have been on a never ending trip through someone elses process along for the ride. But am I? Not really. I have been a willing participant. Too stubborn to accept reality? Or to hopefull that things will work out? I don’t know. What I do know is that being “a part of someone elses bullpen” is no way to conduct ones emotional life. Decisions decisions. Maybe I am being overly dramatic. What the hell do I know. Kids are coming soon. Feel as though my life is passing by with a ferocity that I cant contain. All I can really do is be upfront, see what happens and make good decisions for myself. Never before have I struggles with this kind of regret. Sure I have regrets–to be sure but this one feels different. Maybe because glimmers of happiness sprinkled with doubt, sorrow and longing make it that way.
Recent Comments