“The last 80 hours” was the title of the e-mail I received today from my ex. Really my last two evenings with the kids before they leave. I didn’t sleep last night, not much anyway. Nothing feels comfortable. Time seems to be both dragging on and collapsing at the same time. Drained today. Lots of weird stuff has happened this week to contribute to this. More conflict with a co worker who has decided that my goal at work. To the point where she broke down in tears in front of other co workers and made a bunch of accusations about me, it was special. I just don’t have the emotional energy to invest in trying to smooth things over. Especially when I feel as though this is an issue more with my colleague than myself. Not to say I have not participated in creating them.
I got a call out of the blue from an old friend who heard through the grapevine that I have been going through a divorce. It was nice to catch up. Nice to hear another perspective on things from someone who has known me longer than any other friend. He invited me to his daughter’s 1st birthday party on Saturday. I need to stop by and make an appearance. I need to reconnect with old friends and put in the time and energy to nurture the relationships I have. One of my favorite musicians passed away yesterday and it has left me feeling very sad. LeRoi Moore from the DMB was a very talented woodwind player/musician. Having played the sax for many years I admired the impact he had on one of my favorite bands. I will miss his music.
Life is so fragile and short and hectic. I miss having a place to come in from the chaos for a while and be at peace. Soon I will make it happen. I am working on it. I don’t think I can tolerate sitting next someone with hygiene issues on the bus today. It might get ugly.
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