Worstcase scenario of course but a real possibility. Never, ever have I lost a job. Never fired, laid off, whatever. I have been lucky enough to always leave on my own terms. It has been a very unsettling time where I work. Our jobs are being discussed in the papers, at city council meetings and by the legislature. My job in the hands of politicians. Not a comforting thought. Losing my job would essentially wreck me financially. I am trying to stay positive and re-frame the worst of it into a “new” opportunity to try something new or different or to do the post doc internship that would allow me to really get licensed all that much faster. Never the less I would lose the house, and struggle to pay my bills-not a good thing for me or my kids. Keeping my fingers crossed.
I bought a new camera, despite all the uncertainty I felt like I needed to do it. Not sure why I felt this way. I have been wanting to buy one for months. Now I just need to learn how to use it which means taking lots of pictures. I think I needed something to do that was fun and relaxing and not more work to do when I get home. I could work after work on the house forever. It has its own rewards but not always that relaxing. I am planning to take as many pictures as possible this weekend just to try it out. Hopefully the weather will cooperate.
Returning to LA in less than two weeks. Lots of friends to see, dissertation to defend and places to visit. It will be nice to be done with school, essentially it has taken me eight years to do what most do in four. Oh well I never have been one to get things done in a timely fashion. Didn’t finish high school on time, not college, nor my masters’ nor this degree. I am sure no one but me, my parents and my chair really care at this point. It won’t mean anything for me professionally for the foreseeable future. After I finish I plan to go out of town the next weekend just to relax, unwind and then jump back into a bunch of things I have been putting off. I want to go to the ocean and just listen to the waves crash into the beach, maybe just maybe take a dog or two for a walk along the beach and have a few laughs with good company. I think I have earned it.
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